Friday, January 31, 2014

Santoros - Ancestros (2012)

This may very well be the best damn twang beset, euphoria inducing, heartache curing flower punk I have ever heard. It's pure elation bottled up in a growler and labeled "Please Enjoy Slowly." Press play and feel every last one of your bad vibes and pesky misgivings stream out of your pores like Niagara Falls during a hurricane. These guys also put out the equally intoxicating Animals cassette last year that was on my 2013 best EP quick list.

Feel free to pay $$$.


Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Red Cords - Dead Heat EP (2013)

UK pubescents, raiding your liquor cabinet for whatever is strongest and if you've got nothing but Malibu and Fireball in there, you might come home to a noxious heap of a turd in the middle of your dining room table. No offense, but man up you pussy! While you're doing internet research on alcohol that wasn't made with vaginal secretion, you might swing by the PNKSLM page and pick up this surfboard swilling raunchfest that easily fits into any drenchers collection.

For your eyeballs...


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Wimps - Party at the Wrong Time EP (2014)

Spankin' new prissy punk with an attitude. Once members of The Intelligence, Meth Teeth and Butts form this calculous trio of ball bashers and brain embezzlers. Don't skip on this sweet lemon colored vinyl, it's yearning for it's place in your collection and you would be a fool to deny it.

And for good measure here is their sold out cassette from last year...

Help Yourself

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Bad Joke That Ended Well - S/t (2012)

Drunk punk junk doing a swan dive off a skyscraper, maintaining the paradigmatic form of an olympian and crashing down like a meteor, feet down and chin up, only to belch and mutter the words "thank you may I have another." Snag the mp3s fo' free courtesy of Stolen Body Records (who have sent me a bunch of new stuff you should be keeping your eyes peeled for).

Stolen Body

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Ah God - Total Dose (Video)

Ah God is low-pressure, two-timing dumpster punk. So far in their sprawling music career, they have stirred the pot with an LP from early last year (below), and teased us with this taste of vibrant joviality, which will hopefully turn into something more. Keep you're eyes wide for more.


Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Tough Shits - S/t (2012)

The message behind this bands name is likely not to be off-putting, but rather to encourage you to get past all your pretend pain and concocted misery. You are not the only person in existence and it's time you realize that. If someone cuts you off, tough shit. If work is really bringing you down, tough shit! There is no need to verbally vomit your perfectly normal life all over facebook or whatever online social bullshit you're into. I can't say for sure that these guys follow my philosophy, but their songs preach whole hearted goodness in general. They subliminally teach you hard lessons, like changing up your daily routine for the better (Early Grave), not getting involved with blood sucking harlots (She's a Loner), and experiencing life in a more fruitful and exciting way (Security Blanket). Not to meantion that these tracks are first-rate and supremely sweet. You will be gasping for more after just one listen, I promise.

1. Try Not To Laugh
2. Bird (Don't Get Tired of Flying)
3. Cats & Dogs
4. Early Grave
5. She's A Loner,
6. Space Heater
7. Chinatown Bus
8. Not Too Close
9. She's Through with You
10. Security Blanket
11. Holding a Seance
12. Hombre De La Cocaina

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Poolboy - Soda Kids EP (2013)

These guys easily made my Best EP's list at years end, however, I'm sure you guys didn't actually listen to all of that stuff, so let's try this again. Here's Poolboy, swarming pop punk, well hung and stiff as a brick. These jams are sweeter than your girlfriends rim jobs and certainly tighter than that cavernous asshole she's left you with. Keep your eyes peeled for more from these guys, you won't want to miss it.
Grabbing Clouds

Monday, January 13, 2014

Panic - Bad Fantasies (2013)

The pantaloons on Panic are crowded by some serious balls. Hulking testes that smack the ground with such force, you'll flop around the room like Dankey Kang on a trampoline. These stunners from Toronto will be out and about soon enough, but for now, check these tracks and prepare to have your world torn asunder.

(Feel free to start from the beginning!)

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Fuzzy D's Top 20 Albums of 2013

Well 2013 is a fuckin' wrap which means it's time for me to pick my favorite LPs and/or cassettes and spit 'em right in your face. Here's the action, bust a move!

(Bandcamp samples included where possible.)


#20. Bad Sports - Bras
August 31st on Dirtnap

The thing is, I've been needing an excuse to write about these radical mother fuckers for a long time, and this album is it. They got that thing going on where their songs come off as somewhat serious at first but when the chorus comes around, they throw a random punchline in there. Nothing that's going to have you laughing your ass off, but enough to let you know that these guys are in fact not serious at all. They are all FUN and 100% genuine dudes playin' hard and gettin' paid. The whole album is streaming on bandcamp (below), you will be wanting to check it out.


#19. Shocked Minds - Shocked Minds
June 13th HoZac

If you are reading this blog, you definitely know Carbonas and if you don't you should go somewhere else. Seriously, you're not cut out for this. Anyways, here is Shocked Minds, a conglomerate of garage punk all-stars if you will. Members fit Ex-Human's, Gentleman Jesse and his Men, Beat Beat Beat and of course Carbonas into their collective resumé. No further explanations are needed.


#18. Night Beats - Sonic Bloom
September 21st on The Reverberation Appreciation Society

I will be honest, I did not have insanely high expectations of this album after last years UFO Club LP (Lee Blackwell of Night Beats and Christian Bland of The Black Angels). Don't get me wrong, it was good, but sort of predictable. If you have been missing those maniacal wammy solos from the 2011 debut, you aren't necessarily getting a whole lot of that back, but this album grooves none the less. It grooves so good that you almost forget those piercing sounds ever graced your lobes in the first place.


#17. Kiss Kiss Karate Passion - I Can't
June 1st on Les Disques Steak

This is a lonely, but absolutely wonderful album from Bordeaux. A man searching for love but all the pretty ladies he approaches think he talks weird. You want to feel bad for the guy, but then you realize, holy shit! This guy is kicking my ass with these jams and he is clearly superior to me in most ways.


#16. Colleen Green - Sock It To Me
March 19th on Hardly Art

There is a brutal simplicity about Colleens music that makes it innately soothing and grooving. She's just a stoner girl tryin' to live in a stoner world and who can blame her? Shit sucks out there. I've seen her alone and I've seen her with a bassist, but that is as extreme as things get. None the less, you will lose yourself in her strum and vocals and only return to Earth when she's walking away.


#15. Beth Israel - Beth Israel
May 9th on Dull Tools

This album comes in waves. Lo-fi free fall dream punk and heavy stinky steaming heaps of garbage punk in constant rotation.


#14. Boogarins - As Plantas Que Curam
March 15th on Other Music

Rare form Brazilian psych junk. It's like a sweeter version of Tame Impala at times (sorry, I hate comparing bands), but also with some really juicy garage rock influenced licks involved.


#13. Radioactivity - Radioactivity
October 29th on Dirtnap

There is no denying the impression The Marked Men have had on garage punk in recent years. They have had their hand in so many great side projects and this most recent one called Radioactivity is rewinding back to where 2008's Ghosts left off. Won't lie though, I am sick of people arguing about which marked man is better. Jeff vs. Mark. Are you seriously splitting hairs over this shit? They are both undeniably great musicians, lets just leave it at that.


#12. Babes - Babes
September 10th on Pizza Burglar

Fuck... Yes... This album rocks in so many different ways it's absurd. You won't know whether to dance, punch a duck, attempt a mctwist off your roof, or simply bash your head against the wall. Really, it is that amazing and you need to be checking it out now.


#11. Missing Monuments - Missing Monuments
August 5th on Dirtnap

Is Dirtnap on a roll or what? King Louie is the boss of you and you better listen up. No chumps allowed and clothing is optional 100% of the time. Missing Monuments is the sickest brand of rock n' roll imaginable. Always shredding and never letting up, that would be a chump move and King Louie ain't that.


#10. The Spasms - We Better Operate
July 23rd, Self released

Following a classically simple formula, this record dishes out track after track of catchy garage punk on the verge of exploding in your face like a hand grenade.


#9. Heavy Times - Fix It Alone
July 9th on HoZac

These guys are at the other end of a long hall, their two-ton jams and sometimes lethargic riffs drowning your palate in psychedelic punk rock bliss. 18 tracks you will never want to end. Buy this record and buy it fast.


#8. Violent Change - Violent Change
March 19th on Catholic Guilt

I shared this record last month after only listening to it once or twice. I have only fallen further in love with it ever since, granting it more plays than the porn industry. Their songs fling tempo around the room, rendering it meaningless as a slow jam softly lifts you up and the next speeds towards you in a flurry of drums, twangy guitars and reverb laden vocals.


#7. The Future Primitives - Into The Primitive
September 16th on Voodoo Rhythm

Fast, raunchy and primordial punk rock, bearing down on your mom's house like it's been there 100 times before. Their "Songs We Taught Ourselves" LP from earlier this year gives you a good idea of where the inspiration comes from. Hear it in fully drenched and utterly raw action on "Into The Primitive" before you face falls off from being a dipshit!


#6. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Float Along/Fill Your Lungs
September 27th on Dot Dash

Let's be honest, with this holy grail of band names there ought to be buttloads of pressure when it comes to living up to it. Well these guys coast through it, writing killer jams like their name was something stupid like I EAT EARTH WORMS and none of that bull shit mattered. Seriously, this album will leave you in pure amazement and in the end you will find it easy to believe that someone who could write such paralyzing songs could also easily come up with a kick ass name like this.

(PS don't give up on the 16 min track, that's something a square would do.)


#5. Maston - Shadows
February 12th on Trouble In Mind

One day I had this playing in the studio and one of my coworkers straight up told me it made her want to kill herself. Who would have thought that such eerily pleasant sounds could cause instant self loathing? If she's going to kill herself over a song than I am pretty sure she deserves to sit in eternal darkness while Strange Rituals plays over and over, forever. I applaud, no better yet, I sing "Hallelujah! Amen! Amen!" in honor of this album. It leaves a sweet but scorching impression on your soul. The organ pounds in your ears but they swallow it like gummy worms. I'm telling you guys, this record is a keeper!


#4. La Luz - It's Alive
October 15th on Hardly Art

Four total babes in harmony, surfing the necks of their guitars. They ride the curl from beginning to end and my friends, it is the perfect wave. I mean it literally broke in exactly the right spot and in the most righteous manner. I only got my hands on this a little while ago and ever since I have not been able to turn it off. I think once you hear it you won't be able to either.

(Note: this preview is from 2012 but has a couple songs from It's Alive on it so don't front.)


#3. Zig Zags - 10 - 12
January 3rd on Burger

It's hard to say what band you most enjoyed seeing in any one year when you went to so many damn shows. However for me in the year of 2013 and out of all the shows I went to, Zig Zags easily take the crown. I can't really explain why, other than to say it had me in a deep mother of a trance. There was no way I was going to shake it, not that I was really trying to. The summary of my little story here is that if you really crank the volume on this cassette, it will likely have a similar effect.


#2. The Ding-Dongs - Rang Tang Ding Dong
November 28th on Norton

Finest kind of rip-roaring, holy hooting, boot scooting, bitch slapping rockabilly there is. Vocals like 40 grit sandpaper. Riffs that swing and sway and twist and twitch. We lovers of junky garage and down right nasty rock and roll of all kinds have been enjoying the unremitting craft and relentless charm of Mark Sultan and Bloodshot Bill (together and apart) for some time now. There are few soldiering on in the genre today who do it better or with half the wherewithal. You will wear this out fast folks so you might consider purchasing multiple copies.


#1. Dead Ghosts - Can't Get No
April 30th on Burger

You might have released some killer jams this year. You might have written something totally catchy and all your friends were pretty damn impressed, some even might have wanted to have sex with you. Well just a heads up Ringo, you should probably pack up your shit and go home because you did not even touch Dead Ghosts in the year 2013. You literally fall cranium first into these songs. A slow fall through a incandescent portal and into a world where the flaccid dick that is the general public and the constant stupidity experienced within has been slurped up into a black hole of equivalent bullshit, never to be seen again. Only an album this stunning and beyond reproach could possibly warrant a sentence of that length. In other words, buy it and buy it fast!


Another spew over and out. If you sucked in 2013 (like Fuzzy D did) then take this opportunity to reflect on the fact that your life really isn't shitty like you keep on saying. Low and behold you might actually find the motivation to get a job or make new friends or stop being such a dick. Whatever your issue is, get over it and get on with your life. 2014's a new year bologna tits, don't fuck it up!